BECOMING BOO THIS YEAR_ivybl_092615

BECOMING BOO THIS YEAR

SEPTEMBER 26, 2015

Thankfully I am back into that season again, when the world decided it needed less of me—my presence, my effort, my attention, my affection and love--that I can, with relief, go back to my true introvert nature.  As usual, I will start off this season in documenting my thoughts well into the better half of the succeeding month.  After which, I will turn to the visual arts. Then, the third month will be spent on the craftsmanship necessary for the Yule season and the New Gregorian Year.

I realized that as I aged, it mattered less whether people hear about the things I do during these times as they never really bothered about whether I can write or draw or paint or make wall arts, calendars, origami and scrapbooks or whether I can sew and cross-stitch.  Much less do they care since all they know is my profession which is “tulo-singko” even here at the office, where CPAs are a dime a dozen, and that being a law undergraduate is just virtually useless since in a competitive world, better opportunities come to those who are graduates of the LAW (hmmm?). And I realized I really do not care whether they care because I have always been doing this since I can barely scribble and it made me insanely, deeply and smugly happy.  And that is the fire I will draw on as the days count down to the cold solstice, or as the mid-life ages draw near, and even when my life approaches dusk (literally and figuratively).  I just hope that when I am past this life, someone somewhere will remember some of my traces—be it my rudeness, my childishness, my stubbornness or my temper, or my iron will to stay true to myself and others, whether they be friends or foe.  For there is really not much difference in people. We are all lonely.  The salvation of our sanity depends on whether we believe Life is greater than us (meaning that there is SOMEONE—GOD who planned all of it for us) or we are greater than life.  As for me, I am not a genius nor am I a strong person to think that I can do it all.  I just believe and pray that whatever GOD has willed, I may be able to take it one day at a time.  Every night before I go to sleep, I make an agreement with HIM.  If tomorrow never comes for me, let it be that those left behind will not be much stressed or saddened by the loss of me—a vapour in the wind.  If I get a chance to wake up, I just pray for strength to get through the day until the moment I go back to sleep come midnight.

So, expect that I shall try to be faithful in leaving traces once again, as I spend the coming days retreating deeper into me and voicing out my innermost dreams and thoughts whether through words or sketches or colors.