SOFT WORDS

October 8, 2015

This morning after some Bible-reading, I planned to write on “Soft Words”, as in, “A soft answer turns away wrath: but harsh words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1)”.

I am reinforced more after hearing of three deaths within a span of two days and a half, of people I know or are related to those around me, that I realize the importance of choosing our words carefully. We’ll never know if we would have a chance to regret or apologize for speaking harshly and uselessly to other people since we do not know if we would be gone anytime, whether through accident, sickness or just plain shutting off of our cardiac and respiratory functions.

Nobody lives forever, as shouted out loud by Jon Bon Jovi, and though that song says that he wants to live while he is alive, I would like to take it to mean that we could also try to live the way we should in order to feel more alive and at peace with ourselves.  I realize that if we drown out the voices of other people by talking out loud, responding harshly, or just plain calling attention to others by over-the-top gadget use, dressing, eating, acting and lifestyle, we miss out on what makes us human and what connects us to nature and the rest of creation.

We who are alive today are in what (as far as I can paraphrase what the) psychoanalysts, philosophers, theologians and new age thinkers say the peak of history.  Peak, as in we are at the most heightened awareness of our humanity and our vulnerability, with the two forces constantly at war in our existence – on one side being our ability to control nature and harness technology to improve our lives and connection with each other, and on the other side our vulnerability to nature’s wrath in times of disasters and the severe depression and suicidal tendencies when through technology we are bashed, humiliated, insulted, defamed and ostracized.

Every day, whether we hear it on the news, through our circle of colleagues and friends, or through the grapevine, we get to know people experiencing the effects of this war.  Surprisingly what separates the survivor (the one who is merely alive after the storm) from the over-comer (the one who is alive, well and working his way to rising up again) are the words we say to others and ourselves. 

Do we love ourselves enough as we love other people? Though the Scripture states the words in reverse order but really, there is no less-than or greater-than equation here, for it says in essence that we must both love ourselves and others in the same measure.  And the best expression of this love is our speech, because it is what makes us unique from the rest of the animal kingdom.  With our words, are we expressing love for others and for ourselves?  With our words, are we manifesting true humanity and not beastly brutality?  When we leave this life, can people remember the things we achieved or the effect of our words on their attitude towards life and their view of other people? Have our words and conversations with people every day, to each and every kind of person, built others up or torn their spirits down?